| Book Group Arrrgh... |
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| 10:29pm 24/09/2006 |
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So I'm currently reading my second book for this kink book group that I joined. It's The Catalyst by Laura Antoniou. Parts of it are somewhat interesting, a lot of it is funny, but it is not nearly as sexy as the last thing we read, at least, not to me. I do respect her attitude. She seems to have some anger and some "fuck you" and some pride in it, and all this I can relate to.
A lot of it seemed to drag for me, though, particularly the porn. I found myself skipping ahead for the parts with no sex in them. Not something I'm used to doing with books about kink or sex of any kind...
I'm still looking forward to the discussion of the book, but I miss last time when the book we read provoked me to mad bouts of masturbation and sex... |
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| Too much money. |
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| 10:05pm 17/08/2006 |
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I have been on a sex toy/lube/book buying binge lately. Over half of my admittedly meagre income over the last two week has been sacrificed at the feet of the gods of sex. Not that this is a bad thing (except now I'm too broke to go see Snakes On A Plane this weekend). I will write about the toys later, when I've had more of a chance to try them out, but I got three books, two of which I've already delved into to some degree. Those are:
-Tristan Taramino's Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
So far I'm only into the second chapter or so - we're still in the basics. I have peeked ahead and it looks like there is a lot of good, solid information in it. Plus, Tristan Taramino is adorale and I like to imagine her saying the things instead of steeping in the reality of reading the book alone by myself.
-Best Sex Writing of 2006
Not how-to or erotica - this is a book of essays that represent a pretty broad spectrum of non-fiction sex writing. I thought this was a really interesting concept when I heard about it (on the Radio Blowfish Variety Hour) and the first essay both made me think and turned me on, so that's pretty much a plus.
The other book I got was Violet Blue's Smart Girl's Guide to Porn, which I have been coveting since I heard her read the introduction to it on her podcast. I have a feeling it might be pretty basic, but I'm hoping it will surprise me.
Now that I've invested in toys, texts and tidbits (lube, condoms, etc.), next will be movies. And then, possibly, something that will pry my partner away from the computer at night which, this week, has been nigh on impossible, in spite of all my investments up to this point. |
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| Masturbation. |
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| 06:00pm 09/08/2006 |
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Last night I was having masturbation issues. I started doing it, because I kind of wanted to. My head, however, was definitely not in the game. I kept thinking about un-sexy things. I kept getting distracted. I don't know if I was a little too tired or what, but I was actually having trouble staying focused and keeping my arousel level up. And when my arousel level will not stay up...I can not come.
At one point, I was actually banging my fists against my temples in frustration, and saying aloud: "Come on! Get your head in the game!"
Nnnrrrrgh.
I did eventually focus on something that got me hot enough to come, but it took me way longer than normal, and wasn't nearly as satisfying as I had hoped.
Oh, well... |
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| Lately. |
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| 06:48pm 07/08/2006 |
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I've been getting back in touch with my sexuality, lately...partially thanks to a new blossoming of involvement with the local kink community, and partially due to my own efforts.
It has had me thinking about how important different aspects of my sexuality are to me...how important is the bisexuality? The kink? How important are specific sex acts? Attitudes?
One thing I know is that when I'm not feeling confident and I'm feeling out-of-touch with my sexual side, I frequently don't even see the point of sex. That is an ok place to be for short amounts of time, but in the long term that is the sort of thing that makes me yearn for my misspent youth. It is, therefore, lame.
So it is good to get back in touch... |
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| Queer and Dear. |
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| 02:24pm 02/08/2006 |
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This morning, I finished reading Carol Queen's The Leatherdaddy and the Femme which was unbelievably hot and which provoked a savage fucking of my boyfriend a few nights ago. It also provoked me to attempt to get him to fuck me instead of going in to work on time this morning, but that didn't work out. He is such a good boy, when the mood strikes him.
As it is fucking hot out today, I am sitting at home, naked in a dark room (partially because of predicted over-taxation of the electrical grid - the bedroom air conditioner is, of course, still on). At some point I will have to leave this room to accomplish anything, but that time is not yet.
LD &t F impressed me on several levels. It was so very queer, in spite of all the sexing between men and women. It also manages to go into some theory and history without losing any interest level or any of its intense hotness.
It makes me want to run away to San Francisco and see if I can make that scene. It also (more constructively) makes me want to make the scene where I am. Fortunately, reading the book is a first step in that, as I was reading it for the purposes of participating in a kinky book group tomorrow night. I'm usually not so hot at meeting people, so the book group is going to be an excellent forum for me. |
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| remiss |
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| 08:16am 28/07/2006 |
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It is not that I haven't been having sex. I assure you. Exhaustion in other areas of my life means I haven't really felt like getting into it in a public forum.
Lately, though, I have been thinking a lot about my sexuality...about the extent to which I am queer and about whether I am a dom or a sadist or both. It raises interesting questions in my head. |
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| Podcasts |
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| 01:04pm 02/03/2006 |
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The past few weeks, I've gotten into podcasts. I carry them around with me on my MP3 player and they occasionally come up on random play. Only one of these is about sex, and it inevitably comes up at work - perhaps because I downloaded every single episode available. It's called Open Source Sex, and it's by Violet Blue (her website is tinynibbles.com). I find it informative and extremely hot by turns.
Now, my current job does not require a great degree of concentration, or I wouldn't even listen to anything, let alone something with words and ideas to follow. Nevertheless, listening to an extremely hot show at work can be a problem for several reasons. The first and least purient is that Ms. Blue often references things that I want to look up on the web. The others, I'm sure, are easy to imagine. However, once one comes on, I am caught. I can't stop. I sit there, listening, and sometimes shifting in my seat - trying to deal with my arousal in the most subtle way possible.
My job is very boring, you see. Listening (and getting turned on) is a very effective way of dealing with that boredom. So far, I don't believe my work has suffered for it - indeed, being on automatic pilot has helped me to accept my repetative tasks and not to rush them.
Still, in general, this might be considered a bad idea. And, like many bad ideas, it is nevertheless so much FUN. |
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| Quest for decent porn... |
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| 10:52pm 13/12/2005 |
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Lately, in my quest for decent porn, I've been trying various things in the google image search to see which things get me what I want. BDSM and "sex pain" usually do better than does "dominance and submission" for instance. And "sadism" does ok, but the images I want are interspersed with irrelevancies. Even so, it's difficult to find sufficient variety. Maybe I should give up, and, like I did in the old days, merely search for "sex" and go through reams of what I don't want to get to the things I do want, but I'd rather not...
I want variety, but I don't want to have to sift through reams of crap. When I get home, I'll have access again to my reasonably respectable collection of old-fashioned paper-and-ink porn, again. That will be good, but even so, having new things now and again is nice...
I will keep searching.
I'd happily subscribe to a site if I knew which ones I could trust to not steal my credit card or whatever. If anyone has suggestions in that line, I'd be appreciative. |
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| Tonight... |
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| 10:00pm 07/12/2005 |
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I had so much work to do. Instead of doing it, I got my laptop and some sex toys and hid away in my room and played and looked at porn until I came. It was a relief. I took an hour or so - I drew it out, deliberately. I let the tension build and build - the release is so much better that way.
I can't wait to get out of this city and get home. It was only recently that my partner and I have started exploring serious kink. He's pretty vanilla, but he's got the three G's in spades. He'll try almost anything to make me happy.
Once I was concerned that the fact that he was only bottoming because I wanted him to somehow made the whole thing a bad idea...it's not real submission, right, because he doesn't like it? Because he's doing it only because I want him too. I asked my friends. They pointed out that, actually, it's very real. The most real.
When I was home one weekend, he let me use clothespins on him. When I get back for good I'm going to try him on some flogging and maybe the hot wax. Just thinking about that will get me very turned on - sometimes in inconvienient situations...it's a total antidote for apathy. |
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| Hot chat. |
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| 08:15pm 16/11/2005 |
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Tonight I had an online conversation with a friend who is currently in another country...she recently had a playdate with a kinky couple and discovered she liked pain.
The conversation made me want to take that friend and tie her hands behind her back and whip her, and then shove her up against a wall and fuck her till she cried out...
It was a great conversation.
Sometimes I find myself in that position. I often wonder what is the polite way to tell someone you'd love to hurt them in the best way possible. |
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| Dirty Daydream Number One. |
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| 11:48am 05/11/2005 |
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It was just as I was crossing the street.
I imagined being a force. Tying you down, standing above you. My blows stacatto across your yellow-white flesh. I imagined your fear, as you stared up at me.
I imagined straddling your head and making you suck me till I come, unable to push me away, unable to protest, unable to do aught but obey.
It is, of course, one of the classics.
It still had me reeling with arousel. |
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| To state the obvious: |
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| 07:59pm 26/10/2005 |
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That last post was the beginning of the first chapter of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice and not anything I have written. It's only there for testing purposes. Things of this nature are unlikely to happen again. If they do happen again, I will clearly identify them. |
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| We are live. Test. |
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| 07:35pm 26/10/2005 |
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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
"My dear Mr. Bennet," said his lady to him one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"
Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.
"But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it."
Mr. Bennet made no answer.
"Do you not want to know who has taken it?" cried his wife impatiently.
"_You_ want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it."
This was invitation enough.
"Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it, that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week."
"What is his name?"
"Bingley."
"Is he married or single?"
"Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!"
"How so? How can it affect them?"
"My dear Mr. Bennet," replied his wife, "how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them." |
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